#Life Goals

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Skiing trip (Living vicariously through the lens of my son) #lifegoals

#lifegoals is trending. Life is happening right this minute whether we choose to actively participate or not. 

Well, I certainly hope that you are having a great day today.

It is an honour to be back to continue on our journey. It’s only the second-month of 2018 and I know many of you have made resolutions I prefer to call (goals) that really are going to make a difference in our lives. 

To be resolved for me means simply choosing and sticking to a cause of action by goal setting for your life that you plan to stick by.

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Surprisingly Satisfied 

Welcome to my ”Season of being surprisingly satisfied”. This year I’ve chosen to be a refreshing fountain of living water. I’ve decided to walk this purpose out being intentionally content regardless and irrespective of my current circumstance. And let me tell you, 2018 came for your girl. It’s a war outchea but I’m still standing. 💁🏾‍♀️ I’ve realised that in order for me to successfully stay on course and remain content I must first embrace my authentic self. If you read my blogs you know I write often on my need for choosing to live life authentically.

This entry is basically an encouragement to you (and me) don’t get it twisted every time I share something there’s a message in it for me also. Somehow God always decides to change the direction of my entries as it materialise. If you have started 2018 with the greatest of intentions only to plateau at the first hurdle. Trust me I have been there many times in the past and it can only get better from here. 

Let me encourage you today to give yourself a break, a hug and to tell yourself ”self we will go again” quitting is not an option, a decision I made a long time ago when life was challenging me at every corner. 

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.  

Martin Luther King, Jr

Find the thing that brings you joy. Only you can figure that out so get to discover. For me, it’s alone time. I take retreats often and cherish my coffee mornings in the early hours when mostly everyone is still asleep to just think and hear myself speak out loud. I also find journaling daily is great for me to process my thoughts. It’s crazy how many people choose to share blogs with the world but never take inventory of their own private thoughts by simply cultivating the discipline to journal daily. (Not throwing shade, opinion not fact). Journaling for me is one of the greatest tools I have adopted since teenage years. Not only does it help me to reflect, refuel and rebalance my mind and emotions amazingly it leaves me fully recharged and empowered. After several of these journaling sessions with God, I have found that this place is my most authentic and truest in finding and hearing my voice. I call it my place of unshakeable peace and I encourage you to cultivate the same for yourself this year. 

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My then 9-year-old son building his life with vision. (He will be 16 this year) I can’t tell you how incredibly proud I am of the man he is becoming as he chooses to live his best life. 

Being a healthier version of myself is one of my main goals this year. And I believe if I’m a healthy mom, a healthy daughter, sister and friend I’m being authentic to those around me and therefore a more valuable gift to all and myself. Let’s be honest you are better sound and whole than you are fragmented and chaotic. You will find that those goals (resolutions) become easier to tackle and stick to over a cause of time once you’ve allowed and given yourself permission to clear the clutter and set out your life goals.  

I understand that every season is different and right now you may be reading this thinking what if I can’t meet my goals this year? Friend, rest in God’s sovereignty. The amazing work He started in you, He will finish. Life might not be happening the way you expected in 2018. Circumstances might not be what you envisioned when you pictured your life years ago, but trust Him in the process. This year alone I’m being challenged to trust God more than ever before for what His best is compared to my mediocre that if I had my way would run ahead with. Literally 6 days into this new year I had to witness the man I love get dealt some losing cards and for sure I could’ve sworn the hand that dealt them forgot to include in the deck the winning suits. All I could see was a pack of jokers with every shuffle. As we go through a terrifying and frustrating time I am reminded of my inability of not being able to ‘fix it’and my dependency on my God who He is ultimately the only one that can ‘fix everything’. Isn’t it like God to have me in a season where I find myself surprisingly satisfied and yet facing some of the most challenging things I’ve ever had to face in my life thus far. I guess truth be told my position is not based on the circumstances that surround me rather my surrender in Him.

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Couldn’t pass on a perfect opportunity to take a picture with our favourite ride. Clearly, car is not ours we stay daydreaming #lifegoals

So often we think the impossible before we even contemplate our own possibilities or the power that lies within. For me, it is the ultimate surrender of relinquishing all of my wants and desires in exchange for His ultimate best.  We don’t have to live this life alone and that is always a great encouragement.  He is working, even when you don’t see Him or feel Him. He will complete what He began in you. He will equip you for the task and see you through. Your job is to abide in Him and leave the results in His hands.

Don’t disappear when the “work” of your life isn’t turning out as you had expected. God’s not done with you yet!

Love  Jewel xx

Please feel free to share and comment, your feedbacks are warmly welcomed. I’m still finding my way. 

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simhasana

img_0018Its that time of year where if you’re anything like me, you begin to review everything you wrote down at the start of the year, (although I do this monthly) and make sure you are somewhat on track with your goals and being intentional about seeing them come to fruition.

This brings me to why I decided to write an entry today. I’ve thinking soberly about my life recently, a lot is changing, and things are moving so fast. Looking for a pause button; mostly overwhelmed at the best of times.  

Please don’t read this entry sitting on the judgement seat, as you read I hope you can find your story in mine. And I as I go through yet another unveiling to bring about healing to both our journeys, I trust you will be kind enough to yourself by answering some of the questions in this blog and allow your mask to come off also. 

Lately, my questions have been about my life: the past, the hurts, the ex’s, the frenemies, the dead-end jobs, bad boss’s, corrupt colleagues… and my tomorrow. As I approach 40, I look around to find a small handful of close friends (I’m slowly learning to open up again and allow new people to come in). Desperately in pursuit of newness, afraid of sameness, and itching to create moments.  

Have you ever had those moments in your life when you seriously just want to get in the car, pocket full of cash, your fav radio station, the clear road with no traffic? You, the road and destiny; only to wake up to the shocking realisation that real life is not at all like the movies. When will ‘it’ begin? Will I ever get married, will I ever be able to let the guard down long enough to allow someone to get close to loving me, for me. Are more kids on the books, heck do I want more? The truth has I had a decision to make. At this point of my journey, parking the car, leaving it punctured is far from ideal. Looking in the rearview it was clear that I’d come a long way. A bloody long distance, going back was not an option and parking in the middle was; well, also not an option. What do you do when the beginning is no longer in view, and the end is not in sight?  For me, this was a reoccurring hump on the road. It is obvious the show must go on, until curtain calls that are. So here I go again on my journey, no turning back, although it gets ever so tempting at times. But I want to help walk you through my survival kit for bumpy rides. It is inevitable that days will come when the car (vehicle-me/you) simply needs a rest. That’s the first place we start.

R E S T. When was the last time you gave yourself an MOT?

Every car owner understands the importance of having their vehicle checked annually to avoid a failed inspection. The consequences of failing an MOT test is costly, so you owe it to yourself to make sure you pass the inspection.  

Liken that to our own lives. I don’t know about you but I used to be a sergeant for ensuring my ‘life check-ups’ were done without fail every year, usually on or around the week of my birthday. Because the thing is this, with check-ups you are almost, always guaranteed the unpleasantness of other less immediate problems. Truth is, they never pose a serious enough threat to make us want to act now.  I think that is why many people do not like going for check-ups. However, when we ignore these problems that we know should be addressed sooner rather than later, as they may worsen. We face grave consequences that may cause us to fail our ‘life check-up the following year.

Call me, turtle. 

I had a gut feeling 2017 was going to be quite an adventure. But one I simply had no appetite for, just trying to keep it real. Anyone that knows me, knows I’m the queen of hibernating when shit gets real. “Many turtles, are able to retract their heads and legs into their shells as a defensive manoeuvre”. And honestly, I can stay in the shell for what can sometimes feel like a lifetime. I guess growing up is a lot to deal with at times, and some days, I just have no gusto for being an adult. When all you’ve known is responsibility there’s sometimes this mischief urge to do the opposite. The sad part about that is, life doesn’t pause when you do. Time has no respect for my hiatus, and rightly so, it keeps on ticking.

Tonight I screamed silent thoughts of frustration, of wasted years, poor choices and failed relationships, disappointments, failed attempts at success.  I scream, knowing that better days are ahead; but only wished ‘those days’ could be today. I’m pretty sure you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, I do too. Well, one of the things I find that has helped me over the years is journaling my thoughts. It’s always so encouraging to go back to the entries and reading through where your thoughts were and comparing them to how you now feel.

Shortly after having ‘my moment’ of silent torture, I practised  ‘Viparita Karan’ (leg up the wall pose) to help relax and calm me. I’ve recently taken up Yoga again, after several years of putting it to one side. (I’m beginning to wonder why) By practising regularly, I am much more capable of meeting a worry with a presence, of curiosity, and patience rather than fearful reactivity. My practice has given me peace of mind. Honestly, I’m a better mother, friend and person, because I can handle the everyday ups and downs more easily. I feel better than ever. As a Christian, I can easily see the benefits of being spiritually connected to God and being more aware of my being and my presence. In some crazy way, yoga has reintroduced me to my spirit man in ways incomprehensible. 

Reaching for my journal I soon came across an entry that had me in tears. Not sad tears, but the happy: pulls you into pieces separated forcefully, the act of tearing that causes your eyes to stream with warm tears and your mouth engaging in a smile, in one chemical reaction. All because I came across a promise that I had written several years ago. The sweetest part was knowing that finding it was no coincidence. It was just another one of the beautiful ways of reinforcing his love to me. Every word he has ever told me is way bigger than it is, and the first thing I can do is simply trust him. Trusting means letting go of what I want and taking the hold off what he has in store for me. 

What are you holding onto that you know you must let go?

I’ve learned that the challenge of living isn’t the problems we face but our stance in the trials. Yes, the issues are real. The longer I live the more I see hurting people, experiencing real suffering, and knowing actual pain. It’s way bigger than the movies and more factual than the media’s depiction.

My journey has just begun, each milestone finds me standing at the burial ground of my imperfections and breathing life back into it. With each resurrected limb becoming more beautiful than its dead remnants. This journey has me taking tests, and failing them countless times. On route, I learn what it means to follow and be still. I never said I was always compliant, so let’s just say most times I’m kicking and silently screaming, but in spite of, knowing I am exactly where I am supposed to be. 

Truth is, you are fighting for your life in one way or another and perhaps getting ready to park the vehicle. My plea to you is; whatever you do, learn to rest, not to quit. It’s so easy to mistake tiredness as a reason to stop the car. But remember that the journey requires movement. I once read somewhere that, ‘stillness in itself is a movement’. Learning when to rest and when to keep on moving is one handy tool that you and I will need for this journey to wholeness. 

Thanks for following my journey and reading. Please feel free to like, comment or share. Any questions you’d like to ask please feel free to do so. I look forward to walking with and unveiling more to you.

Namaste

Jewel

I am Woman

img_1312 More precious than jewels

I’m  more than a face and more than a body.

I’m more than a vehicle used for pleasure.

And much more than a gentle kiss and a soft caress.

So much more than a cheap date and a night-cap.

I deserve more than sweet words and empty promises.

More than a longing and a wishing for something that isn’t forced and comes without resistance.

I am a woman built with stones of turquoise

My foundations with sapphires and my battlements made out of rubies.

My gates of sparkling jewels, and my walls of precious stones.

I am more; precious than rubies

Born for such a time as this

My worth far exceeds your temporary validation.

Even after the applause dies down

My worth will continue till the ends of the earth.

You see, I am woman 

Made for the completion of man

The perfecting of his needs

To bring him help.

Without me, he’s made without function

I bring value to the promise.

Entrusted by the maker to be so much more than eye candy.

I lost the worth in my value

Lost the price tag that used to be attached to me.

So many have come by to have a look, but without care left me back on the shelf to gather dust.

Some didn’t even take a second glance,

Others simply stared.

They don’t see the work that’s gone into the perfecting of my splendour

I am much more!!!

Desperate to scream out this truth

But choked with dust and inferiority I sat there allowing potential buyers to devalue my virtue.

Bartering rates to lessen my price.

Until one day I found my voice

I am worth more and refuse to settle for anything less… 

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Jewel ❤️

What floats your boat?

Sometimes it feels like everything around you wants to consume you. Problems at work, family issues, lack of finances and bad health to name a few. It is like being stuck in a boat in the middle of the ocean, hit with tempestuous wave after wave, with rollercoaster events leaving you fighting to find the calm in the storm.

What matters is not so much what’s going on around you but what is incubated on the inside of you.

Notes from my journal, and it reads:

Negative issues seek to penetrate your heart and become a part of you. The word of God says to guard your heart for out of it flows the issues of life. As you allow these issues to spring a leak in the heart of your boat you will find that it will sink because you have allowed what was on the outside to get on the inside.

If we are going to endure the storm there are key parts your boat will need:

1. An anchor to keep you from drifting off course. The word of God serves this purpose. Proverbs 3: 5,6 says
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
In all your ways know, recognise, and acknowledge Him, and He will direct and make straight and plain your paths.day as it ever were. Letting go and submitting was hard for me.

2. A rudder (flat piece hinged vertically near the stern of a boat or ship for steering)
Now I want to substitute the rudder for your tongue or in other words what you say.

James 3:4,5 (NLT)
And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong.

In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.

Proverbs 18:21 (message) explains the power of the tongue further indicating your life will move in the direction of your words.

Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.

3. Your faith keeps you afloat resting on the promises of God. I love what it says here in 1 Peter 5- Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

Our boat is blessed… Christ on the inside

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In fact, you are at the highest state of blessedness ( a feeling or state of well-being and contentment).

We are going to make it.

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honour depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.”‭‭Psalm‬ ‭62:5-8‬ ‭NIV‬‬ 

Hope you enjoyed this entry, and please feel free to comment. Your support is warmly appreciated. 

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Jewel 

Video

#i can’t breathe

“Sometimes when you’re in a dark place you think you’ve been buried but actually you’ve been planted.”
― Christine Caine

In torrent waves whose current force me further and further into the deep waters. I flail my arms in a desperate attempt to surface the watery mirages that seek to drown me.

Starting out as droplets they seemed harmless at first, but like a dripping tap they congregate and grow into a puddle…a pool…a pond of a water…a lake…an ocean

The Mirages I speak of are those who I celebrate as they move swiftly in their sphere of influence. I watch as they network and form impressive waves of illusion like Niagara falls when inspected closely are nothing but mere droplets of tap water. But as I observe and admire their progression, I am caught off guard like a starry-eyed fan, standing face to face with her idol. Disappointed and despondent, I am left stranded with nowhere to go. Wasted time I can never get back, my soul submerges in the deep depression. Anger begins to fill my empty space, I’m choking, airwaves closing in on me. #icantbreathe

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With arms surrendered, I relinquish my will to fight.  I can either let it overwhelm me or I take charge and allow it to move me towards my onshore.

Do I sink deeper and deeper into a watery grave or allow my anchor to keep me afloat the overwhelming crashes of wind hitting hard against my back. 

Yes, I choose to relax and rest with Him.

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand  (Oceans, Hillsong)

Resuscitated back to life, my breathing slowly regulates, air begins to fill my lungs. My living rescue boat has arrived. The captain of my ship forming my arms to stay afloat. He makes my legs become the engine that would allow me to move, and my eyes firmly fixed on Him above the water. I find my self-steering back in the direction I wish to go.

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I can breathe, finally  I can swim, yes I’m  afloat. Instead of being distracted by the watery mirages, I choose to let them be the substance by which I lay and keep my head above water.

Thanks for reading, and as always your comments are warmly appreciated.

Signed,

Anchored