She

Firstly I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who has liked my posts and followed my blog. I know I don’t blog that often, but I’m super proud of myself for sticking it with it this year. 2017 has been my best year of maintaining some consistency. I can only hope that 2018 is even better, and more importantly now that I’ve found my voice and courage to be bold to pursue more entries and connect with you on a deeper level It should be so much easier not to become daunted by this process. But I’m so thankful that irrespective of how many people have liked my posts or even followed my blog, I’m reminded to never lose sight of the main thing. The purpose, the reason-behind the why, and the motivation in spite of my many hangups and self-criticism; is healing. Mine and yours, through my journey to discovery. Finding my distinctive voice in the midst of all the other voices hasn’t always been an easy affair. The truth is I have to remind myself at all times to be the voice, the authentic sound that I would’ve liked to hear when I was going through my dark days. I can honestly say that connecting with real people who weren’t afraid to take off their masks and show me their scars was when the real therapy began for me. It made me feel as though I weren’t alone in my struggle. That somehow we all had hidden scars and together we could help one and other heal better if only we would be brave enough to bear all.

My goal is simply to do the same. I wear my scars without masks, and as vulnerable as that may be at the best of times, it really is the only way I can help bring some healing to the broken-hearted. In my real and tangible way. Yes, I am a Christian!!! I know these days it’s frowned upon, especially in the self help category. But honestly as someone who loves self help books and is a strong believer in thinking ‘yourself into a better place’ there is no way, absolutely none that I could have a blog on restoration and leave God and His word out of my story. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying for a second that being a Christian has made my healing an instant one. Far from it. Perhaps in your journey you can also relate. And even with God in my story I have to tell you that there are no microwave miracles. If you would please allow me the privilege of invading your island on my birthday as I allowed mine to be invaded several years ago. I would love to share a few truths with you today. 37 and finally I’m regaining sobriety, this life is a journey. You’ll soon realise once you stop trying to figure it all out.

YOU IS SMART, YOU IS KIND, YOU IS IMPORTANT…

You have NO idea how many times I’ve needed to repeat these words to myself. Or the number of times I have sobbed uncontrollably because of the lies that held my mind hostage. Brick by brick you can be put back together again. It’s not a quick process I’ll have you know. 9 years and counting I’m still on the potters wheel. Honestly I don’t think you ever come off, sorry to be a bearer of bad news. But wouldn’t you rather be spoken to in truth, than have a pack of lies written to you only to deceive you even more.

If you’re anything like I was, truth soon becomes a desperate friend. I could no longer ingest, nor digest any more lies. There comes a point in every journey when we stop and say NO MORE! My no more came on day similar to today, a day of what should’ve been a celebration instead became a doomsday. But one thing I learned from that memory wasn’t the pain of being knocked out in a fight but rather the joy of coming back for another round. Armed with new techniques and a better insight to my opponents fight. I celebrate my birthday standing firm, with the belt of truth buckled around my waist.

Recently someone I refer to as my stranger neighbour reminded me that nothing is ever wasted. If ever a truer word was spoken that was it.

At 37 she looked in the mirror, and starred for quite sometime. Inspecting every flaw and freckle. It didn’t even take her long before these three words came out of her mouth.’I LOVE YOU’.

She looks at the future, with a smile on her face, tears of joy streaming down her face, a glow that can only come from knowing her worth, shoulders back and head held high. She is becoming….

Today I celebrate growth.

My growth and I want you to celebrate yours also. 

When was the last time you took a good look in the mirror, just you, alone with no one present. And told yourself, I LOVE YOU!!!

Be honest with yourself. Ok, if you’re having to ponder too long, then do it right now.

Go on… I dare you to say… 

‘I LOVE YOU’

You are a masterpeice.

You are handcrafted.

You are unique.

One of a kind.

❤️️Signed, Free to be me (Happy birthday to me) 🤗

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I am Woman

 

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More precious than jewels

I’m  more than a face, and more than a body.

I’m more than a vehicle used for pleasure.

And much more than a gentle kiss and a soft caress.

So much more than a cheap date and a night-cap.

I deserve more than sweet words and empty promises.

More than a longing and a wishing for something that isn’t forced and comes without resistance.

I am a woman built with stones of turquoise

My foundations with sapphires and my battlements made out of rubies.

My gates of sparkling jewels, and my walls of precious stones.

I am more; precious than rubies

Born for such a time as this

My worth far exceeds your temporary validation.

Even after the applause dies down

My worth will continue till the ends of the earth .

You see, I am woman 

Made for the completion of man

The perfecting of his needs

To bring him help.

Without me he’s made without function

I bring value to the promise.

Entrusted by the maker to be so much more than eye candy.

I lost the worth in my value

Lost the price tag that used to be attached to me.

So many have come by to have a look, but without care left me back on the shelf to gather dust.

Some didn’t even take a second glance,

Others simply stared.

They don’t see the work that’s gone into the perfecting of my splendour

I am much more!!!

Desperate to scream out this truth

But choked with dust and inferiority I sat there allowing potential buyers to devalue my virtue.

Bartering rates to lessen my price.

Until one day I found my voice

I am worth more and refuse to settle for anything less… 

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Lost &found

Jewel ❤️